( The full song is here http://www.lspace.org/fandom/songs/hedgehogsong.html )
1.
You can bugger the bear, if you do it with care,
in the winter, when he is asleep in his lair,
Though I would not advise it in spring or in fall--
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
2.
If you're feeling quite coarse, you can bugger the horse,
or the palfrey, the jennet, the stallion (with force),
You can bugger the donkey, the mare, or the mule,
Though to bugger the pony is needlessly cruel.
3.
You can bugger the ox (if you stand on a box)
And vulpologists say you can bugger the fox,
You can bugger the shrew, though it's awfully small--
but the hedgehog cvan never be buggered at all.
4.
Herptologists gasp you can bugger the asp,
Entymologists claim you can bugger the wasp.
If an insects your thing, man, then just have a ball--
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
